Even though it's been 9 months I haven't updated this blog, there's hardly been a day I haven't thought about it. Countless posts have been drafted and I still write down ideas in my notebook. This little online diary started one day back in February in 2008 when I was feeling hopeful for the first time in a long while, when I was preparing my move to London after feeling paralysed and stuck at home. It saw me moving from one country to the other and through changes I somehow stuck to it (albeit not very regularly). In the end of 2013, I started feeling weird towards this place, I felt like I lost my voice. It's hard to put it into words but I felt like I was using 'blog speak' instead of my own words. Too many superlatives got in the way. This is not a rant against the blogging world and its success, and the money and all that by the way. I just felt like I was following some word formula and got frustrated. I mean what is the point to have an anonymous diary online if you can't be true to your own voice? So I stopped writing here and I stopped reading blogs.
I didn't stop writing online though. I started a travel blog and kept taking pictures, which has become my favourite thing about blogging. It didn't matter that much in that context if my voice didn't feel totally mine as the blog was about places, not my dinky little life.
I think I got the control back on my own voice today and I always thought that it would be the time then to come back here. The desire is definitely there but I have to be honest with myself right now, I find it difficult to find the energy to dedicate to two blogs.
A couple of you have got in touch to ask me if I would write again on here, it touched me so much but also baffled me that anyone would care. My answer then was yes definitely, I feel like answering that today too I love this space and I love the freedom that comes with writing under a nickname and above all I love the little group of like-minded girls that would often pop by and tell me what they think in the comment section.
I miss all that but I'm not strong enough (yet) to take on 2 blogs and make a good job of it. So this is not goodbye but au revoir, with the hope that 2015 will make me a better person xx